WHISPERS TO AND FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT
The Real Me
Dear Lord, If I were to go
to the depths of my being
I would find my “self”
But that self I know
now would be in you.
You are the “I” in who I am.
My journey in life has been
to find the real me according
to the world but the real me
is not in the world but in you.
It is in you that I am true
and complete. There is no sense
of true love in me. There is no
ability to feel the suffering
of the world in me.
There are no great sorrows for
the sin of the world in me.
There is no forgiveness
for the sins of the world in me.
There is no righteousness,
redemption or divine
love in me. My dear Lord
all this and more is only
found in you and
I know in you is
where I will be found.
Dr. Don’s Refection
I know I am not the only one in life that searches out their real “Self”. All of us want to know who the real “me” is even if we do not know it. The problem is where and how do we find our “self”.
I looked everywhere for “me”. In my family, in my work, in my ministry, in my social life, in my reputation and it was not until I found Christ that I realized who I am is who he is.
No this was not a falling off of the horse thing like Paul. It was and still is a long journey. But once I found Christ and fully accepted the Holy Spirit I had a travel plan to find who I was made to be. Again it did not come in a flash but rather a promise that if I followed Christ to the best of my ability I would know who I was.
It was great to know that I had a path to my true “self” and I knew if I followed it I would be there but I must admit it has been a long hard walk and I am still not there. It could have been much easier but I was the one that made it hard by veering off the path to my true self. From time to time I became sinful by going my way and not the way Christ and the Holy Spirit. Accordingly, I had to put up with much suffering because of my impatience, pride, and sinful ways.
Despite those detours, the Holy Spirit was always pointing the way to the real me. Along the way, he shared with me that I will find myself in Christ and that to find myself I had to lose myself in him. Really, I had to lose myself to find myself! That did not make sense to me but God’s way is not my way.
It took me a while to get that but once I did, I was OK with it. At this point, I was fully aware that I would never be who I thought I could be so following Christ must be the way. Nothing else was leading me to “me”. Nothing even close.
I know now that my true “self” is in Christ and the way there has been pointed out by the Holy Spirit. I am not there yet and I have a way to go but I do know that the real me can only be fulfilled when I die to “self” and come alive in Christ. In Christ is my true self.
Joe Chirillo says:
“New Seeds Of Contemplation” by Thomas Merton